Well Shod, Well Imformed

THE LADY AND HER TRAMP

HRH and the impossibly beautiful Lady Melbourne have spent the past FOUR days holed up in Sydney in an epic blog-love coma!

Last night and on the verge of both requiring liver transplants, we decided to bump heels (in public), one last time.

Despite the salacious rumours (spread by Imelda HERE & HERE), the Lady and the Despot didn’t get their sex-on!

Instead, we hit the town in style and as these behind the scenes photos reveal, the great Lady M is a transcendent blog-star beauty par excellence!

THERE WILL BE BLOOD

Logging onto the information super highway this morning, Imelda was greeted by news so diabolical, Yum Yum - sensing what was about to go down – committed seppuku.

Correction, she ‘attempted’ seppeuku.

In her defence, aside from Imelda’s merciless tongue of tyranny, the sharpest object within reach was a heavily gnarled-on cob of corn (what bitches? Don’t be judging me for eatin’ corn in mah crypt…I know you’ve eaten worse things in your beds).

Whilst the sight of Yum Yum, attempting disembowelment, was a jovial distraction, it couldn’t erase the diabolical news that Nicolas Ghesquière, for the very first season, dishonoured the Despotic Queen of Shoes by not presenting a single heel.

QUELLE HORREUR!

Instead, the only man (aside from the Beloved) to hold an 'Access All Areas’ pass to the Despotic Queen’s touchstone of tyranny presented an ENTIRE collection of FLATS!

I’ll be heavily self-medicated for the remainder of Paris Fashion Week.

And Ghesquière, consider your access restricted!

 

PRADA SERVES UP A TEMPTING TRAY OF TREATS FOR S/S 11

Miuccia’s S/S11 collection has meet with mixed (and somewhat brutal) reviews over at The Fashion Spot. But from HRH has seen, Prada’s 20’s inspired woven leather Mary Jane’s in tasty Liquorice Allsorts colour blocking are all killer, no filler.

My opinion may change once my peepers get a closer look at the platform teddy boy creepers and wedged platforms.

Story developing...

UPDATED

GUCCI PUTS THE WRONG FOOT FORWARD

Earlier today the Despotic Queen tumbled out of her crypt to cast her peepers over Frida Giannini’s S/S 11 collection of stitts. Hmmm, I thunk to myself, did I mistakenly teleported myself back into the halcyon era of Tom Ford’s Gucci?

Throwing open my filofax I quickly confirmed that I hadn’t Brenda Dickson’d anywhere but it was obvious that Giannini has been dipping into the Ford archive.

Wafer platforms, crushed velvet, knotted t-bars; stripy caged vamp treatments and metal covered stiletto heels…ahem…these silhouettes were all signatures of Fords era.

While Giannini's tenure at Gucci has lurched from good to diabolically bad, this season critics like UK Vogue's Dolly Jones who wrote, “a powerful beginning to Milan Fashion Week” and heaping praise on Creative Director.

However, the Despotic Queen found Giannini's S/S11 contribution too safe and a utter disappointment, save for the woven knee-high peep toe boots, which in camel are sublimely inappropriate for summer in the Antipodes and thus highly covetable.

A HARLEQUIN ROMANTIC

This morning East Sydney TAFE graduate Erin Bruce, wooed the Despotic Queen with a promising A/W 11 collection of peep toe sandals, two-tone pumps, ankle and ¾ boots – which, incidentally were inspired by ice skates.

Bruce, who recently launched her label arlecena, first came to HRH’s attention after alerting the Palace of Despotism to the  imminent closure of Sydney’s one and only footwear design course. According to Bruce, the threat (of closure) and resulting press lifted the courses visibility and helped enrolments for 2010 ‘triple’.

Considering how unpredictable HRH can be, hustling your way into the P.O.D isn’t something Imelda (or my armed mercenaries) would advise aspiring footwear designers to try.

However, not only did Bruce leave with all four of her limbs firmly attached, she left my petty pants damp after ponying up a sneak preview of her S/S 12 collection, ensuring the peaches 'n cream beauty is moving into poll position of Imelda's 'One’s to Watch' list for the forthcoming season.