LADIES, CHARGE YOUR TASER HEELS!

We have work to do…I promise today will the last time Imelda posts about celebrities for a long, long time. But some BAD shit has happened to innocent mid-market shoes.

Stuart Weitzman (barf) has kicked off his annual celebrity shoe auction and it’s not pretty. I’m leading with the gruesome numbers created by TV’s current golden girls, Leighton Meester (left) and Blake Lively (right) because I L.O.V.E Gossip Girl (hey! don’t judge The Despot, I’m allowed one dirty shame) and we need to send these ‘scrapping bitches’ a message, “don’t give up your day jobs”.

If you turn up the sound I swear you can hear the shoes sob and beg for forgiveness. Cheaply made, mid-market pumps, Imelda doesn’t blame you, I blame the under paid publicists who (foolishly) agreed to let their clients re-direct their ‘creativity’ all in the name of curing Cancer. I tells ya, Cancer has a lot to answer for.

The Surgeon General has advised Imelda that protective eyewear will be required to view the additional images I’ve posted after the jump.

Comments

[Skye]

Those are crimes against humanity, not just against shoes. I'm trying to picture the hapless assistants and shoe wranglers who were forced to create these atrocities.

"Just following orders." is not an acceptable excuse!

PS. I think I hate Eva Longoria's the most.

[enc]

Skye said it all.^^

[The Seeker]

When I saw the post title I run to charge my taser heels, to be prepeared....
And I am. So waiting to your orders.
As from the rest I agree that skye said it!

Lovexxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Iheartfashion]

Just saw these atrocities! EEWWWW

[Bex]

Yuck. no no no no no!

[cybill]

Each shoe was both worse than the one before it and the worst shoe EVER at the same time. Won't somebody please think of the shoes!!!

[Blogette]

Haha it always amuses me when celebs "design", thinking that they're the best artisans as actors therefore should design beautiful shoes. Barf indeed.

I have some GG shame as well.
I would love some of those taser heels though to keep the boy in line :p.

[trend de la creme]

i thought i would never ever say this in a million years, but here goes...

jessica simposon's are the best.

there, i said it. DON'T TASER ME!

[Danielle]

...and just like with "real" celeb collections, these shoes were probably never even touched by them.

[Miss Karen]

Ugh I call for a class action against these celebrities to pay for free therapy - it's gonna take me a long time to forget these atrocities...

[Grant]

I call whomever is to blame for the second last monstrosity! FLORA AND WHEELS!?!? REALLY??? I'll tell you when these two things go together (and it's not on a shoe); when I run you down in a car stolen esecially for the purpose and then leave you to rot somewhere surrounded by weeds, bitch. I don't know who you are but when Imelda tells me your hours are numbered!!!

[Make Do & Mend]

Speechless and I would be shoeless if these were the only shoes left on the planet.

[fashionherald]

oh, my, god, get the celebs away from the crayons, construction paper and elmer's glue, please.

[susie_bubble]

There's embellishment...and there's this....

[Doe Deere Blogazine]

Damn right they didn't design them. They hired a team to do it - BUT still had to stamp their seal of approval on the monstrosity!! So it is pretty unforgivable.

IMHO, Jessica Simpson's was the least horrible.

[Sal]

I had the same reaction as Fashion Herald: Looks like arts and crafts time gone horribly, horribly wrong. Eeeeyaaa.

[K-Line]

Never has so much hideousness been wrought in the name of good works.

[Sister Wolf]

I'm confused. Do these shoes have cancer?

[dapper kid]

Oh dear...I feel the need to find whoever allowed these monstrocities and slap them silly.

[Prêt à Porter P]

horrible!!!!

[Psyche]

So, Gossip Girl huh? I watch it too, but don't tell nobody!

These are as hideous as cancer is.

[Danielle]

Stuart Weitzman shoes are always turning up at Oxfam shops, which says it all really.

The last pair I saw still had the store sticker on them.

[giancinephile]

I won't judge you for watching Gossip Girl, I also watch it every once in a while! LOL

And those shoes are horrendous as hell. They look like someone got a shoe and glue-gunned a lot of kitschy objects and the end result is shit. Sorry, it's just really, really, really horrendous for me.

and damn Jessica Simpson she was always and always will be a big joke. She'll never be a fashion icon. Maybe a Playboy cover would be better to boost her so-so career.

Cheers from poor Manille!
Gian

[a dreamer]

i like the pinky sribbly cubist kind of one with whats her face's name behind it.

other than that- 'what the hell?'