I was having a moment of
spiritual reflection with the Sweet baby Jesus in his Christmas crib when Yum
Yum’s screeching shattered the silence “Mrs, Max Kibardin wants to send you
shoes”. “What?” I hollered back. “He needs to know your shoe size. He’s making
you a pair of shoes” Damn it, I was hoping the baby Jesus would tell me what
became of my gold plated, limited edition Suzanne Summers Butt and Thigh Master
– it was a collector’s item. “Tell him I’m a size 42 and Yum Yum, if you’ve
been downloading King of Queens, you’ll be locked in the Maid of
Nuremberg, again”.
Naturally I was flattered (and secretly the idea of free shoes made my dry bits sopping wet) but let me tell you the thought of frontn’ Patty’s next seminar on ‘Ethical Blogging’ in my grafted shoes, scared the bejesus out of me. But then I said to myself ‘fuck it - live the dream. You can’t be a part time despot’.
On Tuesday I received an email from Max “Imelda your shoes are ready, I need to know where to send them”. With no other option, I breeched security and divulged the tightly guarded whereabouts of the Palace of Despotism and prayed the handsome Russian would be delivering them by hand. “I’m sending them via DHL…maybe next time Imelda”.
On Friday ‘my loves’ arrived, aside from their obvious (sequined) beauty, the first thing that I noticed was the smell. I shoved my beak into the shoe and sniffed like Escobar…ahhh there’s nothing sweeter than the smell of shoes made from Italian leather.
I couldn’t very well photograph these beauts myself, I needed to call in a big gun, so telephoned my good friend and creative collaborator, the disturbingly talented Emmanuel (Emu) Giraud. “Emu” I begged “free up the studio on Saturday we’re doing another personal style post”.
The talented Frenchman had shot my KAREN editorial so by my estimate, owed me one. “OK-OK not a problem. What do you have in mind?” “I wanna look like Hugh Jackman” cue the tumble weeds “Alrighty, I’ll see you at 3pm”.
About 4 shots in and reality dealt me a massive bitch slap, The Drover I wasn’t…Roseanne Barr with Bell’s Palsy I was. But bless, Emu (that’s Emmanuel in Frossie*) for his perseverance because he kept snapping while I danced around like Yeltsin on crack. After a ruthless edit and some clever Photoshop trickery here are my new Max “I’M THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD WITH THEM” Kibardin shoes.
"Teen Vogue Bloggers - eat my fucking dust!"
Jacket, Minty Meets Munt A/W 09
"Mirror Mirror..."
I said "hold the cheese wiz...Tiger!" I can't believe I've posted this...seriously!
"Any takers?"
Again, many thanks to Max for sending my dream shoes and Emmanuel for just being so effing Brilliant!
Thanks for the compliments but I have a certain affliction particular in most 5 foot women... Short legs! Not like your lovely long pins at all... I like the shoes, I've not really been able to catch the spangled sequin bandwagon but I think this is a subtle way to carry the look and I'm a big fan!! xx
Posted by: Kat George | February 24, 2009 at 11:49 PM
IMELDA YOU LOOK SOOOOOOO GREAT, I LOVE HOW YOU STYLE THEM !THE PICTURES ARE OUTSTANDING!LOTS OF LOVE, MK
Posted by: MAX KIBARDIN | February 25, 2009 at 12:31 AM
Worth the effing wait and torture od no comment box! I knew it I knew it!!
So peachy perfect it is untrue. Brilliant photos and drovers are so last year. AGHHH brilliant beyond!!
Posted by: Make Do Style | February 25, 2009 at 12:37 AM
sweet bejesus, they're pretty! ;-D good catch sir.
I do know what you mean on the topshop front... Some of the stuff was really rather no-no-no. Also, wasn't a massive fan of the shoes. But some bits were lovely. So I was happy. Simple simple creature that I am... Purple, grey and sequins? That's me sold ;-D
Xxxc
Posted by: cassiopeia | February 25, 2009 at 01:33 AM
GOOD GRAVY, they're GLORIOUS! And the collage cracked me up. Part-time despoting is for amateurs - you did the right thing!
Posted by: Sal | February 25, 2009 at 02:23 AM
i love the smell of leather shoes too.
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! those shoes are amazing!!! and so is the photoshoot! i wish i had a photographer...
im lovin the photoshopped imelda head too ;)
Posted by: Prêt-à-Porter P | February 25, 2009 at 02:28 AM
The entire ordeal just transformed my morning. I love the shoes AND the shoot!
Fabulous!
Posted by: enc | February 25, 2009 at 03:04 AM
Lucky, lucky, lucky!!!!!
Exclusivity makes us feel better but being the only one with that item makes us feel extremeeeeely special! hhahaaa
I love them sooooo much! I guess I do have a thing for sparkly shoes! haha
Posted by: Gian Cruz | February 25, 2009 at 06:25 AM
Kitty Kat - I'd dress in head-to-toe sequin if it didn't make me look like a Vegas showgirl come hooker.
Max - I can't thank you enough, the pleasure was all mine.
Kate - so does that mean 'Roseanne Barr with Bell’s Palsy' is the new Drover?
Cass - I was looking at the TS shoes this morning and wasn't feeling the love.
Sal - I thought so.
PPP - I'm glad you picked it up, all this personal style posting can't be serious :)
Enc - if I'd know I was going to transform your morning I would have do a style post sooner :)
G - spot-on! Knowing that for the time being I'm the only person in the world with these shoes makes me feel like a million bucks.
Posted by: Imelda Matt | February 25, 2009 at 09:28 AM
I am incredible hulk green with envy!
I love the photo's though they turned out beautifully!
will trick for shoes too ... :P
Posted by: Rebecca | February 25, 2009 at 09:43 AM
oh my lordy i love this, first the perfect ending to your first paragraph (kings of queens, gold plated thigh master, poetry!)and then the pictures.
Posted by: fashion herald | February 25, 2009 at 10:13 AM
Congrats! Those shoes are flippin amazing!!! And I'm loving the shoot photos.
Oh and lapin is technically vermin in England. The law requires farm owners to kill all rabbits on their land regardless, apparently overbreeding and destruction of land makes the furry pets fair game. I have a feeling that if I lived on a farm, I would be donning rabbit fur gloves for winter!
Posted by: dapper kid | February 25, 2009 at 10:20 AM
Haha the commentary on this post made me laugh out loud. Those shoes are gorgeous- so lucky!
Posted by: Winnie | February 25, 2009 at 10:29 AM
Imelda you make unethical look so right! wait... left! wait! i just crashed my Hummer H3T!
and yes, i've been busy building RAINBOW UNICORNS! mwaha. and now building wearable gorgeousness soon to be on display. your treats are not forgotten...!
Posted by: SwanDiamondRose | February 25, 2009 at 11:20 AM
I can't concentrate on the substance of the post because the eye candy is soooooo excellent. You are gorgeous, Mattie!!! Now, back to reading about boring old shoes...
Posted by: K-Line | February 25, 2009 at 11:59 AM
"Jealous much Heather?" I hardly know where to begin singing the praises of these divine beauties, not to mention the modeling prowess you've whipped out for us here. Grande Amore.
Posted by: super kawaii mama | February 25, 2009 at 03:00 PM
2 funny--your takedown of Teen Voguers. A terrific photo shoot and gorgeous shoes!!
Posted by: Miss Cavendish | February 25, 2009 at 03:59 PM
Imelda, you solely deserve this amazing Royal perk ! After all, you are the Queen of fab soles!
Posted by: Gerri Ward | February 25, 2009 at 04:29 PM
Those shoes are so beautiful that I think they made my dry bits damp too!
Posted by: WendyB | February 25, 2009 at 04:34 PM
I'm with WendyB. My menopause has totally REVERSED ITSELF! Fuck! The shoes are the living shit. I bow down to them!
Posted by: Sister Wolf | February 25, 2009 at 06:09 PM
Jizz in my pants. Er, what?
Ha, oh Meldy M you must have so much fun writing this, I know my eyes crinkle with mirth when I read it. Multiple Matt action shot is made of win, and those are some damn hot shoes.
I'm glad you found my new blog!!! (triple exclamation). Yes, you may as well delete my old one off your links; I've stopped writing in it, but can't bring myself to delete it completely.
Posted by: Te | February 25, 2009 at 06:25 PM
Oh dear, SW got a bit carried away, didn't she..hehehe...
Congratulations, the shoes are brilliant!! Custom, no less!!!
Posted by: Bex | February 25, 2009 at 06:29 PM
you need to call your friend over for a photoshoot waaay more often.
the shoes are so good lookin. & black and white pattern clashing is HOT!
Posted by: adreamer | February 25, 2009 at 07:26 PM
It's totally worth retyping my personal info in this comment box. (yeah I have to do that everytime for some strange reason.. it doesn't remember my info)
I told ya. Your style posts are the best. You should be a model.
Posted by: songy | February 25, 2009 at 11:54 PM
You look fabulous! And those shoes...my God, The Shoe God that is, has been smiling down on you!
Posted by: Jill | February 26, 2009 at 12:44 AM
aww look at chu, all cute and stuff
Posted by: wecouldgrowup2gether | February 26, 2009 at 02:07 AM
Max is definitely the sweetest shoe designer, and surely knows you. Those were meant for you. I'll post pretty soon a new article about Max and do a link to your shoes! Cheers!!!
Posted by: Miss Glitzy | February 26, 2009 at 04:06 AM
Them shoes is toyt.
Now - whatever happened to that menswear blog idea?
And - I think you should start a shoe tumblr.
Posted by: Thom Wong | February 26, 2009 at 11:59 AM
I LOVE YOU!!!!
Amazing shoes! Niceeeee.
Someday maybe the shoe girl will have someone send HER a custom pair of shoesies.
...someday
Posted by: THE SHOE GIRL | February 26, 2009 at 01:08 PM
wonderful hilarious and so well executed my lovelies x Bravo! you deserve every sequin
Posted by: marian | February 26, 2009 at 03:26 PM
Love it all!
Fabulous shoes and hilarious pictures and definitely worth the wait!
Posted by: Skye | February 26, 2009 at 05:52 PM