Cosmopolitan Shoes is the last bastion of hedonistic footwear pleasure in Australia. A prehistoric throw back to the heady days of liquid lunches and structured shoulder pads, the store is a giant memorial to campery and excess and a refreshing respite to the ‘all white’ approach taken by most luxury stores. Tucked away in Sydney’s snottiest suburb, Double Bay, the luxury footwear store specializes in one thing, high priced GLAMOUR!
Nothing cools my burning bunions quiet like a relocation sale. So when Rose - the stores owner - rang through to Imelda’s hotline with news that the store was having a relocation sale I squeezed into my panty girdle and hot footed it to Double Bay.
In retail speak a relocation sale is a euphemism for ‘closing down’ and the idea that I might lose Cosmopolitan to some airport discount outlet had me (and every other bored trophy wife) lining up for a Zanex refill. High kicking my way past the bargain hungry moneyed matrons in their bouclé twin sets, I was desperate to find the store’s resident man-o-hunk Angelo and get the skinny on the relocation.
I need not have worried because Angelo assured me the store really was relocating. He then went on to whisper the ins and outs and made me a promise they’d still be retailing the ‘Cosmo’ way. Phew.
“Now Angelo”, I barked “find Imelda’s bunions some bargains and keep Kerri-Anne Kennerley and those oil rich Russians away from my sparkles”. Laid out at the back of the store were hundreds of heavily reduced designer shoes. Of course all the ‘serious’ shoes had been bought at full price but I managed to pan through the diamantes and mink to find some real crazy cat lady type bargains. Dolce and Gabbana leopard prints originally $1850 down to $500, Roberto Cavalli bling that was originally $2000 knocked down to $400.
Don’t go in expecting to find the Balenciaga lego shoe on sale - because it’s not - but it’s not all bling either. But do expect to find some genuine skirt lifting bargains - oh and wear your taser heels because when I left Kerri-Anne was still digging through the $200 dump bin!
