Well Shod, Well Imformed

SO, SHE'S OUT OF TOWN?

Sony 380 DSRL Series

Romance Was Born for Dunlop Volleys

BACK ON THE BLOG TOMORROW

Imelda's been hosting a beach side soiree with a delegation of international Arms Traders and mid level tyrants. I did manage to squeeze off this picture of my beloved 'one-of-a-kind' Dunlop Volleys just before chairing the seminar  'Africa - the last frontier of exploitation'.

ODD SHOE SHUFFLE!

I promised to fuel the fire that was started by global trend forecasting giant WGSN when they declared that Imelda’s penchant for mis-matched footwear was a key trend for A/W 09/10 (scroll down to read the original post). So here are all the ‘mismatched’ options that I’ve kept concealed from you (lest I be frogmarched onto the slowbus).

Laugh Imelda out of blogsphere if you will but you run the risk of waking one night to find Yum Yum crawling through your window…nail brush in one hand taser in the other!

LIVERPOOL'S A LONG WAY FROM LANVIN!

I have a biased love of the iconic Dunlop Volley (explained in detail here) but last Friday I had to shelve both my bias and my ego when I headed to Melbourne to view the SS08 range.

I could have bought you this news earlier had the PR company, that pockets an obscene amount of money to manage the Dunlop account, not demonstrated a flagrant disregard and lack of understanding of digital media - and done like the client asked and invited Imelda to the Sydney range showing. I’ve had a gutful of these lazy and over paid PR companies and shall rant on this matter in a separate post at a later date. Oh, and yes, no one crosses The Despot and lives to tell the tale.

The beauty of canvas shoes is their adaptability to any trend. Some of you might remember this post that the Susie Bubble wrote a post the covetous men’s Lanvin hi-tops. Well Imelda read it and immediately forwarded it to my peeps at Dunlop. 7 months later - et viola - we have the women’s mass-market version (and YES I’m seething with rage that a men’s version was not considered). Sensing a cute viral opportunity, I’ve emailed people about the possibility of naming these shoes after the great SB. At the time of publishing this post I’ve yet to receive a reply.

The next tasty treat guarantees a little ‘leakage’, so while you reach for your depend pads, try not to sneeze or laugh. Exclusive to Big W (think Wal-Mart) these glitterati volleys are only $19.95 ( or .96, .97, .98 or .99 – Big W have a random pricing policy). Ahhha *Imelda’s doing her best ghetto girl head roll* $19 dollars – that’s a whole $10 off the RRP.

I love the idea of exploring Australian history through fashion. It’s been completely ignored by local designers and media (I’ve a brilliant idea for a fashion label that’s never seen the light of day). While I was intrigued by Volley’s ‘Australiana’ collection for men, the graphic execution doesn’t lift mummy’s skirt. A concept that needs further exploration…perhaps in conjunction with the Despotic Queen herself – just putting it out there! The self referential ‘Volley print’ is a winner, but I think Nike have already done it! The grey marl looks so ‘relaxed and comfortable’ that Imelda’s about to nod off!

It hasn’t escaped my despotic attention that I only blog about the children who work in my factories or my new Calcutta Call Centre (I tellz ya, those chitlen are sponges. The speed at which they can pick up an accent is mind blowing…off topic). But these cute poptastic prints are hard not to love. Of course I haven’t softened my ‘tude towards the chitlen - ‘sewing, not seen’ is still an unbroken rule in my house. I know a couple of Imeldette’s have birth’d ‘em selves a baby or two so I’ll revisit kids again at a later stage.

I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this…I want your feedback.

Mark my despotic word, next time you see a dance troop at the Craigieburn (total geographic shout-out to my faithful Craigieburn reader – I can track you on Google Analytics) Shopping Centre you won’t even notice their jazz hands for these ruby red sparkly Volleys.

The Volley range is bigger than the sandwich that choked Mama Cass so these are just few highlights.

* Liverpool is a outer western suburb of Sydney.

EVEN SATAN WEARS DUNLOP VOLLEYS

Here’s the skinny…I prayed to the god of rubber for the last 3 years so all things Dunlop hold a very special place in my cold dark heart.

For those who don’t know, after the thong (flip-flop) Dunlop Volleys and the KT-26 (popular with Meth addicts, bogans and the homeless) are the most iconic shoes in Australia. The Volley is the single highest selling shoe, like ever!

If you're over 30, played tennis, been to prison, chopped down a tree, walked through a National Park to bury a loved one, tiled roofs, grew up in a caravan park, played in a band, skated or lost your virginity to a bloke named Chook - you’ve worn the Volley.

It’s an unassuming little sand shoe, a piece of canvas glued onto a rubber sole and sold for around 30 bucks. But the magic is in the trademarked rubber sole, it will grip to just about anything and last a life time – I’ve seen 50-year-old Volleys that look like they were bought yesterday. Trust me, after the apocalypse; Volley wearing roaches will inherit the earth!

So whilst Chook may not have gone the distance, the Volley sure will.

Have I lost you yet? I’ll keep this bit short.

3 years ago I joined a merry gang of Banditos and one Bandita and began my torrid love affair with the 70-year-old Volley. Our motley gang worked day and night to polish this crumbling turd. My compardres were talented, twisted and seriously effed up! Window licking anyone - and that was just Imelda! But the job got done and once again Volleys are the shoe du jour!

Phew, I’ve come full circle so let’s talk ad’s and apologies for yesterdays rush job - but my real job was calling. These commercials truly capture the spirit of Dunlop Volleys - low key, mildly subversive and big on the laughs. I ask, what’s not to love about a middle aged man hand farting (I can hear Nev howling with laughter from here!) . The fart, after all, is the joke that keeps on giving!

My only criticism, why isn’t he hand farting at least one Aussie tune?

Limited edition Romance Was Born Volleys. Only 20 pairs were made for the RWB Spring/Summer 07 fashion parade.

I had the factory sample these aspecial - it's now Dunlop legend that on a trip to China to sort out sampling delays - DG found the entire sampling room mass producing my shoes. I will dispute this till the day I'm buried, which will be in these shoes. As you can see from the shocking condition, I only have one pair!

Volley vs. Illionaire – One of the first fashion collaborations I tried to kick off, the other was with Romance Was Born. For reasons I won’t go into - I’m happy this didn’t get off the ground!

I got laughed out of office (not for the first time) when I said these were the next big thing…a pointed-toe Volley?...you’ve got to be tripp’n! It’s easy to see who the village idiot was in these!. Easily my most treasured Volleys of all and 2 years later I still wear them nearly every day.

The other two after the break