Some Imeldette’s will recall the Despotic Queen’s unsavoury run-in with the fucktards from Australia’s Next Top Model (you can READ ABOUT IT HERE, and you’ll also remember my solemn vow to never under any circumstance work with ex-ANTM girls again.
Well yesterday I had to break my vow because - for once - it wasn’t about Imelda………..(just giving you enough time to pick your jaws up off the floor), it was ALL about Walter. Who’s Walter? Weighing in at a crowd pleasing 1.5kg and standing a gigantic 15cm tall, Walter is Imelda’s most prized possession, my 5-year-old teacup Chihuahua. I know…just when you thought it wasn’t possible for me to get any camper, I reveal the ‘toy dog’.
As the world’s most (in)famous advocate of exploitation, it would be rather hypocritical of The Despotic Queen if I didn’t exploit my own child, don’t cha think? So when my new photographic find (the fabulously French Emmanuel Giraud) told me that he’d been commissioned to shoot a 6 page summer editorial and would I style the shoes (oh and by the way, would her highness consider whoring out her child to fashion?) I didn’t hesitate in replying Oui-Oui!
Despite the picturesque setting of the Pymble Golf Course and awing the 15 strong crew with his uber cuteness, Mummy Imelda’s little baby ‘pitched a fit’ that would shame Naomi Cambell. I suppose this is the meaning of monkey-see-monkey-do. But like most good mothers, I just turned a blind eye to his bad behaviour and blamed it on his medication.
So back to the ANTM gals, imagine Imelda’s surprise when I turned up to find not one but TWO ANTM alumni had been cast for the shoot. Danica Brown from cycle 3 and Alyce Crawford from cycle 4. Expecting to ambushed by my former foe, the formidable Priscilla Leighton-Clark, I instructed my security detail to sweep the golf course and surrounding bushland. Thankfully, she had small children to terrorize and wasn’t anywhere to be found. Rounding out the cast of thousands were Georgia Verschuer and the easy on Imelda’s lecherous eye, Joe.
Without giving too much away, here’s some more (crappy one of me, great one the photographer’s assistant, Matt McMack) behind the scenes pictures from yesterday’s shoot.
Big thanks the kind people at Wittner, Mollini, Midas, Gary Castles and Peeptoe for lending out the shoes at the last minute.
Credit where credit's due...Alyce is a great model, she really surprised me with her 'fierce' poses!
