As I expected, the last two days of London Fashion Week didn’t churn out any unexpected surprises. Still that doesn’t excuse Imelda’s unforgivable downward spiral into the dark and unrewarding world of celebrity coverage…forgiveness is mandatory.

I’m leading with Josh Goot’s minimalist, nude toned platforms, not because I thought they were the final day’s highlight, but because if I didn’t ‘make-the-nice’ about a fellow Antipodean, the villagers would exile my despotic ass into the never-never, which for those not familiar with Australia is Bindi Irwin’s Australia Zoo. Goot’s aesthetic is, and always will be, minimal, and his interchangeable scuba ankle cuff was a stroke of genius.

I won’t go nuclear on Dame Viv, her main collection is still a week away…but fair suck of the sav…was a flat Perspex sandal the best she could design? I’m all for sustainable fashion but what’s the GO with recycling last season’s square toe boots? Anyhoo, I suppose ‘crazy-is-as-crazy-does’.

After last season’s uber cute slippers, I was expecting more from Armand Basi. I’d like to say that his snake print platform wedges loosened my panty girdle – I would. Commercial-yes, exciting-no.

Those Imeldette’s planning a trip into deep space (I know of two - The Seeker's off to Venus and Miss Karen's booked a one way trip to the Moon); may I suggest Alejandro Ingelmo’s angsty metallic platforms seen in Roksanda Ilincic’s show?

We’ve all had a snide chuckle about the House of Holland’s ohmage to all things 1991. I for one didn’t realize Aaron Spelling had authorised the archival of the wardrobe from Beverly Hills 90210 1.0 but from the look of ‘THAT’ dress (you know the one I’m talking about) he did and Henry Holland has raided it. UPDATE – I was on style.com looking for a picture of ‘that dress’ and I’ve just read that his influence REALLY was 90210…Imelda’s an effing ORACLE…bow down and give me your life savings.
Interestingly there was a cavernous disconnect between Holland’s clothing reference and his shoe reference. The zipper trimmed suede platforms are (for those of us old enough to remember) Prada Sport circa ‘97/98. Cranked up on a platform and given a lick of colour the reference isn’t so obvious but it’s there. While I’m not ready to teleport back to ’91 I could be convinced to take a quick trip back to ’97.