The
Despotic Queen has just learnt that Melbourne based blogger Lady Melbourne has become embroiled in an Australasian blogging scandal.
In a
report sighted by HRH, Melbourne has been fingered by Singaporean Blogging authorities
for her un-ladylike behaviour at the recent Nuff Nang Asian Pacific Blogging
Awards.
According
to several unconfirmed reports Melbourne was sighted purchasing hard liquor
from a Singaporean 7/11 prior to the awards ceremony (which due to the attendance of several underage bloggers was a 'DRY' event). Melbourne, a notorious
cyber drunk is regularly photographed getting her Liza-on, but it’s the
photograph (below) of the blogger ingesting a questionable ecstasy-like tablet that has
sparked the investigation.
The
news couldn’t have come at worse time for the chaste cyber beauty who was in
Singapore collecting a (Nuff Nang) award for Best Fashion Blogger.
When contacted for a comment the a spokesperson for the Singaporean Blogging High Commission informed the Despotic Queen, “that the matter is under review”
The evening’s
events remain unclear but what is known is that at some point Melbourne was
admitted into a ‘clinic’. Alarming photographs obtained by Imelda reveal
Melbourne (with shadowy ‘travel companion’ Lois Lane) slumped in a wheelchair awaiting
medical attention. In other photographs Melbourne is seen self-administering a suspicious
substance, orally. While in additional images, the blogger is surrounded by a cacophony
of drug paraphernalia including syringes, intravenous drips and fame whoring hangers-on.
The
information super highway is buzzing with surreptitious whispers that
Melbourne’s Amy Winehouse-esque behaviour could see the blogger stripped of her
award.
Imelda
has learnt that the ‘incident’ has been bought to the attention of Australian
blogging grand poo bah Darren Rowse (Problogger). Several days ago Rowse took
to his Twitter account and tweeted, “Just reading about the Nuff Nang awards”.
That
the allegations have reached Rowse should be a cause for concern (for Melbourne)
as it suggests the matter may be referred before the Australian blogging high
commission. If found guilty of behaviour unbecoming of her cyber alter ego, Melbourne
could be stripped of her award and sentenced to 12 months of dial up broadband.
When
contacted (by Imelda) a barely coherent Melbourne gargled “bitch, shut the f**k
up before I throw my drink over you”
Talking
exclusively (to Imelda) Melbourne’s mother (known as Mother Melbourne) revealed
she was ‘unnerved’ by her beautiful daughter’s behaviour.
Mother
Melbourne also revealed that her daughter had made the acquaintance of several “creepy
leathery Americans” while she was poolside at the Ritz Carlton. When questioned
if these ‘leathery Americans’ were responsible for her daughter’s Pat Pong Road
nails (pictured below) the steely Mother Melbourne broke down in tears.
“I
can’t explain any of it” she sobbed, “I bought her up to be Lady Melbourne not
(infamous drug mule, author and bogan beautician) Shappelle Corby”
While
Melbourne’s behaviour (and nail work) is a chilling reminder of the dark side of cyber fame,
other bloggers have suggested it’s all a publicity stunt.
Speaking
off the record another high profile blogger (also in Singapore for the Nuff
Nang Awards) speculated Melbourne could be “angling for some kinda Ralph/FHM
deal” and that the leathery Americans are “well-known smut peddlers from the
Girls Gone Wild franchise’ who were in Singapore to cast a spin-off series,
‘Girls Gone Web Wild’.
With
the outcome of the Singaporean investigation weeks away, Imelda’s sources have
confirmed Melbourne’s benefactor ‘His Lordship’ is mounting a counter
offensive.
Sources
close to Melbourne’s moneyed amour have conceded ‘His Lordship’ is ‘furious’
that Melbourne’s reputation could be tarnished by the allegations and is said
to have convened a beachside ‘war council’ over the weekend that included a
number of high flying Public Relations Executives.
Story
still breaking…
